End Of The Month

I guess Ill write one more post for this month, but really much hasnt really gone on but that is a good thing. My anxiety has risen slightly but thats normal I guess especially since my wife starting a new job and ending her externship has recently happened. I dont like change, not because I dont like it. Its because changing my routine isnt a good thing normally. Im also not a morning person at all. Shes working evenings again and now we have to get use to getting up late and Ive been staying up all night just so Ill be tired enough to sleep all day.

 I usually stay up as late as I can because if I dont Ill just lay there and think and sometimes that isnt good. I have to let my mind wind down and the only way to do it is to be exhausted all the time but doing that often makes my anxiety worse. I guess thats partly the reason its a little bad now. Im use to it though, well you never really get use to it but Im use to having more bad days than good for sure. I went to bed at 7am this morning and just two days ago I was going to bed at 10 or 11pm I felt better getting up at 7am but I hate day time and do my best thinking at night I always have.

 I want to thank everyone who has written me. I got a letter or two over my last post on here and they really make my day and I do read all of them. So, if you have anything to say or something on your mind just shoot me a email more than likely Ill be up. I check my email 50 times a day. Lets hope September will be a better month!

James

To Those of You Who Need Understanding

I havent really been in the mood to write lately, but I have a few things to write about. I had a talk with my father-in-law and we went at it for a while and of course Im not trying or as he put it “you got to want to help yourself” he finally offered to pay for me to see a doctor. Sounds great huh? Well under these terms. I have to go to a doctor, which doesnt sound so bad but he said if I have one come here it doesnt count and he wouldnt pay for that. All this was said so he can say he tried to help. He knows as well as I do that its a catch twenty-two. I cant go to the doctor because thats what my problem is (agoraphobia) and its hard to get one to come to your house, not to mention he wouldnt pay for that anyway. His reason for not wanting to pay for home visit is, real doctors wont come to your home and he doesnt want to waste money on a fake doctor.

Through-out the conversation he went on about “you have to do something” so I brought up when we got a psychologist to come to my home last November that he never offered to help cover the cost of that. His answer to that was “Psychologists just talk to you and wouldnt offer you no help” which means he didnt think that would work for me and I agreed. He then said “well if you knew it wouldnt work why did you do it?” Of course my reply was “I had to do something” Honestly it isnt about money. I think in the three year period Ive had this we could afford a doctor visit or two, but the hard part is getting someone to work with me. Some people agree and some say it wont go your way and youll have to go to a doctor again some day. I dont dispute that and I am at a stalemate but this is why people have this disorder for years, not because its hard to get over, but help isnt always easy to get unless forced or out of desperation.I can see why people say “why cant you?” or “Why dont you just” because it really is that simple but not in my mind. Also, I know that this is very treatable so I dont go around acting like my life is over. Something will have to give some day I know this and it will either be forcfully or by desperation but I hope its by free-will.  

James

To Prefer Is A Pitty

Today is my dads birthday, I just want to bring that up hes 54. Now to the substance of this blog. The last few days have been more depressing than anything. Id prefer to be a little depressed than anxious right now and consider it a trade off. I think it is a shame to have to choose which youd rather have at the moment but constant anxiety is never good and so is depression but in my case, depression comes and goes. My wife got a job working mornings so thats good and my anxiety is doing great at the moment and Im sucking it up!

I never thought Id feel this good again and I havent did anything special. All those programs I was trying wasnt helping at all so, of course I gave them up. I ususally have a lot to say but really I dont which I guess is a good thing because that means not much is going on with my anxiety right now, but I know some of it is my current depression just saying I dont give a fuc* so on that note Ill check back in a few days.

James

I Feel Your Pain

For those of you who dont write but check out sites like mine to relate let me say I feel your pain. Something I often get emails about is people who feel guilty or bad that they cant function “normaly” in case you didnt know, that is normal and feeling bad is only human. I feel bad for not beig able to go out and although many argue its by choice and we can go on all day about whether I choose to stay home or Im really home bound. No matter what your reasons are people have to accept what youre going through and although it may affect your life with your family or friends then maybe they can be your driving force to getting better because thats the good part, one day you will have to face it and the sooner probably the better.

I think we all just dread that it isnt under circumstances where we arent in control. We want to get help when we feel ready and that may take years but Im sure everyone hits a breaking point. Ive read people having agoraphobia for 25 years but they eventually got help. 25 years is a long time and I hope to god Im not like that but in three years Ive came a long way but have had a few set-backs but now I feel that Im getting better once again but its always in my mind that Im only one panic away from being as bad as I was.

Most of you can relate to that or even worse. The first thing to do is educate yourself and others, if they think youre full of it or not trying to get better then you have to make your point more clear. This can be very hard and take months to achieve but either way they will have to accept it and if youre truely home-bound it wont take them long to see that you arent joking. If my wifes parents could see me everyday instead of hearing bits and pieces every now and then, then theyd understand better also. Just hang in there and remember there are people just like you or worse with this condition and that you arent alone.

James

Anxiety-B-Gone

Its been a little while since I wrote and mainly because my anxiety has been calmer since my wife has been home for a few weeks with me but its been long enough for me to get my head back on straight. I was getting so far distanced from the real world it was really messing with me. Shes was gone for 12 hours or more a day plus in bed another 10 or 12 and I would spend 30 minutes around her and would be so anxious it wasnt funny. But, now Ive been around her for hours on hours, just like old times and that makes me happy because I thought those days were gone. I had other stresses that took my mind off of my anxiety and actually gave me a reason to be anxious besides irrational fear

My fear now is once she goes back to work and to do externship that thos 20 hour days alone will give me plenty of time to live inside my head. Having someone around to talk to helps me get a lot out and I always thought I could deal with it alone and now I know I need someone to vent to and all that good stuff. Its 6am and Im about to go to bed but I do my best thinking at night especially late night so its no surprise to me at all that Im writing this late. Ill write more when my eyes arent closing on me.

James

It Still Goes On

I guess the doubt from strangers, friends and family continues about my condition. I hate being asked to go somewhere especially after explaining to someone what my problem is. People really dont get it or really dont care, but probably both. When someone tells me something that I dont care about I at least pretend to care and if I dont think its as bad as they say Ill at least treat there wishes with respect and not disregard there wishes. I know its hard to grasp that someone doesnt go out at all, for a condition that you dont really see unless you live with me and even then (at least in my case) I keep it under wraps fairly well.

I always tell Tabitha that even if someone doesnt understand, at least respect the fact that I told you I dont get out much and dont give fifty people you know with anxiety who get along just fine. Im trying my hardest to beat around the bush on this one because I dont know if the person Im speaking of will read this but its kind of obvious I guess. I gave the person this site to look over and I think it explains well what Im going through but of course that involves reading and we dont want to understand someone do we? In all fairness I wouldnt probably check out the site unless it was a friend of mine but especially before I passed judgement I would have checked the site out to at least try to get a grasp of there situation. Not everyone makes a site detailing there personal problems.

Tomorrow (7-14-2008) is my birthday, yay! Ill be 25 and pretty much thats it on that one. Im adding a new page to the site and it should be up soon so checkk  that out.

James

Moving On..

Every time I read a nice letter from someone or a post saying how great the site is, it makes you want to do more. Im not perfect and my problems are very real. I wish I could consider myself a success story but Im far from it. But even through all that I am a success because I keep on keepin’ on. Thats my point of this site is that life doesnt have to end with any anxiety or phobia. It sure seems like it sometimes (1000 times a day) but you just learn to appreciate the “quiet” times or relaxful times more when they happen.

I named this post moving on because Ive had a couple nay sayers who think Im dwelling on my problems yadda, yadda, yadda but this is the oposite and it doesnt get to me whats-so-ever. If anything it tells me that there are a few left who dont get the site and I need to adjust to make my point more clear. This site is a release for me and seeing others comments and emails reassures you, youre not alone. While Im at it Ill stress getting into a online group and talk to people with your same issues like groups.yahoo.com Read, read, read educate yourself. Know one cares about your problem more than you do. It is hard to find help and it seems although I could be wrong but help for agoraphoics is VERY hard to come by.

Ive said it before but how is one suppose to get help by going to see a doctor when there fear is going out in public? Most answers to this question Ive come by is, youll just have to get over it enough to get in to see a doctor. The nearest psychiatrist is 13 miles from me, which might as well be 200 miles. I dont think so. Ill keep writing as long as I can and everyday I have internet is a lucky day because funds are low and my internet is living on borrowed time.

James

And On The Seventh Day….

Well it isnt Sunday but I need some rest from my anxiety. June has been one of the worst months for my anxiety and thats saying a lot! My anxiety is still bad (for “normal” people) but to me it seems almost back to normal as in, only 3000 thoughts per second cross my mind. I guess as far as an update to the progress of the programs Ive been trying, well, I cant remember if I weighed in on “Depression Recovery Program” but if not a quick summary. “Depression Recovery Program” uses a series of exercises where you close your eyes and a nice british man talks softly to you for twenty minutes. I have to say I laughed for most of it and most importantly it didnt work. I cant relax to someone (a man) whispering in my ear, theres just something weird about that. I think if it were a woman Id feel the same just without it being weird.

Im finding more and more that meds may be my only alternative since I have chronic anxiety and simple relaxation techniques dont work for me. Mostly because I get bored of the exercises after a few days or the technique doesnt do it for me after a week or so. Im sure if a person sat down and really, really tried meditation or something like that that they would see results. As I see it something always happens that makes me put it on hold or Im stressing so much about something else I lose intrest in anything else.

Theres also many aspects to my anxiety in particular. Even if I learned how to relax fairly well in a few months time, Id still have to face my agoraphobia and thats a different aspect. If I was to then get over my agoraphobia now Id probably still have some social anxiety from being stuck ina house for a few years which, in my case shouldnt be a problem. Also, going back to work is an aspect. That first day would be weird. If youre reading this and you dont have agoraphobia or anxiety issues heres what I mean. My life for the last three years has been my house. Ive learned to do everything here and its almost like living on a deserted island, you have to adapt to being alone and learn a new way of life. After a few years of living on that island Id say it would be strange to just instantly be back at home and living the way you use to. It can be done but it takes time.

If you master one thing such as relaxing then you must master your agoraphobia then get use to going out in public again and so on. Of course Im talking about at first and not saying that youll never fully adjust to a life like you once had but I am saying you dont fix one thing and it fixes everything else at once also.

I called a few psychiatrist on Saturday and one returned my call on Monday and told me he dont do private practice anymore and gave me another doctors number. I called them and they asked what insurance I have and after I said none they said theyd call me in the morning and never did. What a shock. Anyway, thats all for now.

James

Bad, Bad Thoughts are Just Thoughts

This may be the most important things I can share and convey to myself and others because even though “US” anxiety sufferers may understand why we think a certain way doesnt mean our anxiety understands. Let me tell you my most recent story of going crazy!

Yesterday, I was sitting around bored and been pondering why arent I better if I understand my anxiety so well. Why, that when I do panic I still panic? I know now one reason is I give thoughts meaning but Ill get to that in a second. So, in my quest to find the real truth I look up on the internet “Schizophrenia” and of course like most things on the net Ive looked up, I found I now have Schizophrenia. I say to myself well to be sure lets look it up on youtube, maybe Ill find a video of someone with it who I can relate to…BIG MISTAKE! First off I feel real sorry for people who suffer from this mental illness (Schizophrenia) well I seen a video of a girl who had aliens talking to her ect and it really freaked me out. So, I moved on to another video which had an actor seeing things and hearing things ect well this did it for me! I was in full blown panic, by myself and the phone was out so I couldnt call anyone. I started talking myself down saying “Sheew I scared the shi* out of myself” then I started having thoughts that what if I lose my mind and go in the kitchen and grab a knife and stab myself!!!!??!!!!! First off I never had thoughts of killing myself and at the time I wasnt having thoughts of killing myself, I was just scared that I may snap while being alone and do harm to myself.

The reason for this thinking was if someone with Schizophrenia doenst know any better that aliens are talking to them then maybe I dont kow Im worse off than I think I am and what if I hurt myself???? Remember Im having a panic attack at the time so being rational is out the window. I stayed up the rest of the night needless to say scared out of my mind and my wife came home at 7am and I told her whats up and she sort of laughed because she works with people with these illnesses and she knows its my anxiety but even though I know that it still scared the hell out of me.

The reason I talk about this is most people dont like to share about having thoughts of “losing it” and hurting others or themselves. Whats important to know is if a loved one brings up to you having “scary thoughts” then this is fine because like in my case I wasnt thinking about killing myself, I was thinking what if I lose control and kill myself, I mean I was alone and no one to help me right? I read an interesting article today and it sumed it up well and Id like to share it with you because I know in some ways or another if you have chronic or severe anxiety, weird or scary thoughts have intered your head because your mind is always trying to make sense to why you think a certain way or why youre not “normal”. For the record I know I dont have Schizophrenia but as most with anxiety will tell you whats irrational to you may be rational to us. Anyway, heres what the article had to say and can be found at. http://anxietyhelp.org/articles/man_article.html?id=81

Since creating a website to help inform others about common but serious disorders they may suffer with, including Anxiety Disorders, I have received a lot of e-mails.
Recently a young lady e-mailed, asking me if having bizarre thoughts about terrible things, was common with severe anxiety states. I assured her that these type thoughts were indeed common to anxiety sufferers and that the name for them is “catastrophic thinking”.
She had described to me, that when severe anxiety states occurred with her, she would have racing thoughts, many of them having to do with the fear of losing control and hurting self, or others and sometimes the thought of even harming her own baby. This was understandably very concerning to her because like many anxiety sufferers, she believed these violent, sadistic and tragic type thoughts, indicated that she was on the verge of losing her sanity.
Catastrophic thinking, happens commonly with anxiety sufferers and many people refer to it as “what if thinking“. Anxiety Disorder patients describe thoughts like the above ones, that the young lady described but these can also include other fearful thoughts, such as thinking you will lose control in front of other people and make a complete fool of yourself. Other patients may have thoughts of passing out and needing an ambulance, but not being in a location where others will notice and call for help. Others describe thoughts of snapping and becoming violent to others around them or running down a supermarket isle, screaming at the top of their lungs.
One of the reasons catastrophic thinking is so unpleasant, other than for the reasons already stated, is because these thoughts will increase and intensify already present anxiety conditions. Catastrophic thinking in fact, can be a trigger for panic attacks. These “what if thoughts“, tend to lead from one to another, until multiple fearful thoughts, are all happening at once, which you could properly refer to as the “snowball effect”. The thoughts gain momentum and loom larger and more scary to the sufferer, as they increase during anxiety states.
Why in the world are these catastrophic type thoughts so common to anxiety sufferers? According to anxiety researchers, they believe, these thoughts happen because the “fight or flight response“, will kick-in a mechanism, having to do with our thought processes, which will begin to scan for dangers. Of course with anxiety disorders, there are no real dangers and so the mind, will tend to consider possibilities for why the body is reacting as it is, by triggering the fight or flight response. This scanning for dangers, is actually part of the protection mechanism, meant to keep us safe however, the person experiencing them, will misinterpret this as meaning they will actually act on these thoughts and fulfill them.
Let me assure you that this is not the case. The fact that the thoughts are scary to you, in itself, is proof that you do not wish to act on them. Someone who actually is considering such actions, will actually take pleasure in these thoughts and contemplate them, rather than fearing them and fighting them. These type thoughts are very common to anxiety disorder sufferers and do not in any way, indicate that you are losing your sanity or actually about to snap and go out of control.
The best way to overcome the fear of such thoughts, which will in turn also cause them to fade away and stop happening, is to reassure yourself of these facts. I have read the testimonials of anxiety sufferers who actually learned to see humor in these thoughts, rather than being terrified of them and this resulted in catastrophic thinking, losing its power in their lives. This is of course easier said than done but with time and repeated reassuring of one’s self, it can be accomplished, with very good results.
When you think about it, these type thoughts can actually be humorous and you might even add a little humor to them yourself, as they begin happening! For example, if you have a fear of losing control, add to that thought, the idea of climbing a tree and hanging from a limb, upside down by your legs. This might sound like a ridiculous method but it can be as effective as any other method, in diverting your thoughts and getting them more under your control. A final bit of advice I would give however, is not to make it a fight or struggle, any more than you have to, instead, almost make a little game out of it, or see it as an interesting experiment because anxiety seems to thrive on struggle. Once you gain ground on catastrophic thinking, you will see the struggle aspect of gaining control of your thoughts, fade away and over time, it will automatically be replaced with pleasant, positive thoughts and thinking.

I hope this helps someone who may have these thoughts like I did.

 James

E.F.T and Other Program Updates

Ive been using  aprogram called E.F.T which use acupuncter technics without the needles to release stress, anxiety or even the common headache.  Ive found it to be somewhat helpful but I still cant go out and roam freely and the video is grainy and old (VHS Quality) which for me takes away from the experience because this program is $180 and while watching it I couldnt help thinking for this kind of money youd think youd get DVD quality and feel somewhat ripped off.

Also, Id like to mention a product called “Binaural Beats - The Worlds First Digital Drug” which goes along witht he BrainSync program with using a sound or frequency to relax our mind ect. This as like the BrainSync CDs actually works. The program says to relax while listening but I just went about my business and after 5 minutes I felt relaxed and calm without even trying! I dont think this is the “cure” for agoraphobia but it can be helpful to relax, especially if you have chronic anxiety or just need a few hours of relaxation. The CD is an hour long so one way or another you will either be asleep or relaxed by the end of hearing this CD. Recommended!

I havent gotten around to the Depression Recovery Program but I will soon.

James