This may be the most important things I can share and convey to myself and others because even though “US” anxiety sufferers may understand why we think a certain way doesnt mean our anxiety understands. Let me tell you my most recent story of going crazy!
Yesterday, I was sitting around bored and been pondering why arent I better if I understand my anxiety so well. Why, that when I do panic I still panic? I know now one reason is I give thoughts meaning but Ill get to that in a second. So, in my quest to find the real truth I look up on the internet “Schizophrenia” and of course like most things on the net Ive looked up, I found I now have Schizophrenia. I say to myself well to be sure lets look it up on youtube, maybe Ill find a video of someone with it who I can relate to…BIG MISTAKE! First off I feel real sorry for people who suffer from this mental illness (Schizophrenia) well I seen a video of a girl who had aliens talking to her ect and it really freaked me out. So, I moved on to another video which had an actor seeing things and hearing things ect well this did it for me! I was in full blown panic, by myself and the phone was out so I couldnt call anyone. I started talking myself down saying “Sheew I scared the shi* out of myself” then I started having thoughts that what if I lose my mind and go in the kitchen and grab a knife and stab myself!!!!??!!!!! First off I never had thoughts of killing myself and at the time I wasnt having thoughts of killing myself, I was just scared that I may snap while being alone and do harm to myself.
The reason for this thinking was if someone with Schizophrenia doenst know any better that aliens are talking to them then maybe I dont kow Im worse off than I think I am and what if I hurt myself???? Remember Im having a panic attack at the time so being rational is out the window. I stayed up the rest of the night needless to say scared out of my mind and my wife came home at 7am and I told her whats up and she sort of laughed because she works with people with these illnesses and she knows its my anxiety but even though I know that it still scared the hell out of me.
The reason I talk about this is most people dont like to share about having thoughts of “losing it” and hurting others or themselves. Whats important to know is if a loved one brings up to you having “scary thoughts” then this is fine because like in my case I wasnt thinking about killing myself, I was thinking what if I lose control and kill myself, I mean I was alone and no one to help me right? I read an interesting article today and it sumed it up well and Id like to share it with you because I know in some ways or another if you have chronic or severe anxiety, weird or scary thoughts have intered your head because your mind is always trying to make sense to why you think a certain way or why youre not “normal”. For the record I know I dont have Schizophrenia but as most with anxiety will tell you whats irrational to you may be rational to us. Anyway, heres what the article had to say and can be found at. http://anxietyhelp.org/articles/man_article.html?id=81
Since creating a website to help inform others about common but serious disorders they may suffer with, including Anxiety Disorders, I have received a lot of e-mails.
Recently a young lady e-mailed, asking me if having bizarre thoughts about terrible things, was common with severe anxiety states. I assured her that these type thoughts were indeed common to anxiety sufferers and that the name for them is “catastrophic thinking”.
She had described to me, that when severe anxiety states occurred with her, she would have racing thoughts, many of them having to do with the fear of losing control and hurting self, or others and sometimes the thought of even harming her own baby. This was understandably very concerning to her because like many anxiety sufferers, she believed these violent, sadistic and tragic type thoughts, indicated that she was on the verge of losing her sanity.
Catastrophic thinking, happens commonly with anxiety sufferers and many people refer to it as “what if thinking“. Anxiety Disorder patients describe thoughts like the above ones, that the young lady described but these can also include other fearful thoughts, such as thinking you will lose control in front of other people and make a complete fool of yourself. Other patients may have thoughts of passing out and needing an ambulance, but not being in a location where others will notice and call for help. Others describe thoughts of snapping and becoming violent to others around them or running down a supermarket isle, screaming at the top of their lungs.
One of the reasons catastrophic thinking is so unpleasant, other than for the reasons already stated, is because these thoughts will increase and intensify already present anxiety conditions. Catastrophic thinking in fact, can be a trigger for panic attacks. These “what if thoughts“, tend to lead from one to another, until multiple fearful thoughts, are all happening at once, which you could properly refer to as the “snowball effect”. The thoughts gain momentum and loom larger and more scary to the sufferer, as they increase during anxiety states.
Why in the world are these catastrophic type thoughts so common to anxiety sufferers? According to anxiety researchers, they believe, these thoughts happen because the “fight or flight response“, will kick-in a mechanism, having to do with our thought processes, which will begin to scan for dangers. Of course with anxiety disorders, there are no real dangers and so the mind, will tend to consider possibilities for why the body is reacting as it is, by triggering the fight or flight response. This scanning for dangers, is actually part of the protection mechanism, meant to keep us safe however, the person experiencing them, will misinterpret this as meaning they will actually act on these thoughts and fulfill them.
Let me assure you that this is not the case. The fact that the thoughts are scary to you, in itself, is proof that you do not wish to act on them. Someone who actually is considering such actions, will actually take pleasure in these thoughts and contemplate them, rather than fearing them and fighting them. These type thoughts are very common to anxiety disorder sufferers and do not in any way, indicate that you are losing your sanity or actually about to snap and go out of control.
The best way to overcome the fear of such thoughts, which will in turn also cause them to fade away and stop happening, is to reassure yourself of these facts. I have read the testimonials of anxiety sufferers who actually learned to see humor in these thoughts, rather than being terrified of them and this resulted in catastrophic thinking, losing its power in their lives. This is of course easier said than done but with time and repeated reassuring of one’s self, it can be accomplished, with very good results.
When you think about it, these type thoughts can actually be humorous and you might even add a little humor to them yourself, as they begin happening! For example, if you have a fear of losing control, add to that thought, the idea of climbing a tree and hanging from a limb, upside down by your legs. This might sound like a ridiculous method but it can be as effective as any other method, in diverting your thoughts and getting them more under your control. A final bit of advice I would give however, is not to make it a fight or struggle, any more than you have to, instead, almost make a little game out of it, or see it as an interesting experiment because anxiety seems to thrive on struggle. Once you gain ground on catastrophic thinking, you will see the struggle aspect of gaining control of your thoughts, fade away and over time, it will automatically be replaced with pleasant, positive thoughts and thinking.
I hope this helps someone who may have these thoughts like I did.
James
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